Free Fridays

My first summer working for the school district, they did a test run of a special summer schedule in order to save on energy costs - four 10 hour days (Monday-Thursday 7-6). I guess it must have saved some money, because two years later we're still doing that schedule.

Fridays off, you say? That sounds awesome right? Well, it's not.

Maybe for those people that don't have kids it's nice. Maybe for the people who can go straight from home to work and back. Maybe when your day doesn't start at 5:30 and end at 7:30 instead of 7 and 6. Maybe if it doesn't mean your normally strict schedule gets totally screwed up and your kids have meltdowns in the morning and fall asleep on the way home and sleep crazy late on the days they don't have to get up early. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's not awesome even if those things aren't true. No one I work with LOVES this schedule.

There is exactly one good thing about this schedule, and that good thing is:

FRIDAYS OFF!

The last two years I've been jealous of the girls at work who had kids in daycare because it meant that on Friday, they were able to drop their kids off like it was a normal weekday and have the day to do whatever they liked. Normally it meant catching up on stuff that had been slacked off on during the week so they had the weekends free to spend time with their families. I had big plans for the same. Each Friday off has brought something fun and exciting.

Friday #1 I dropped the kids off at school, came home and had a nice relaxing breakfast. Then I spent some time cleaning the most under-cleaned rooms in the house - the kids rooms! After that I took a little walk to the pool and read for awhile, had a nice chat with an old high school friend, and did some very rare solo shopping! I picked the kids up early and we spent the rest of the afternoon with some fun in the sun.

Friday #2 A fun filled trip to the zoo with Nana and Grandpa!

Grandpa and Nate

Nana, Daddy and Mia

Friday #3 We dropped the kids off at daycare and I cleaned the bathrooms! I mean a good, deep clean. Then we picked the kids up after nap-time and headed over to Peter's parent's house to spend time with his family. We took their boat to a restaurant called T-Bones that lets you dock and eat. Good times.

Friday #4 I cleaned our bedroom, then had a fun friend-date with my work buddy Shannon. We went to lunch, then to see the movie The Heat. It was kind of funny because the two leads were named Sarah and Shannon!

Friday #5 I dropped the kids at school, then had a pretty relaxing day cleaning the floors. Then I finally got to enjoy my Christmas present - a trip to a local vegetarian restaurant. Peter went off to work and I headed back home, folded some laundry and took a short nap before picking up the kids. On the way home from picking them up we got into a little fender bender, but it was very minor and no one was hurt, so I'll count us all lucky. Though, even the smallest of accidents can be a major pain in the butt!

This is pretty much the extent of the damage. That, and the alignment seems a little off. Could be much worse though!

Friday #6 was spent driving fourteen and a half hours to New Jersey. But it was worth it for some great Fisher fun!

We didn't let him play with his iPod the whole time, but it definitely came in handy on occasion.

 Today, Friday #7, is the last free Friday until next year. I started it by dropping off the kids at daycare, then heading to Target to take advantage of the last NC Tax Free weekend. Now I think I'll do a little bit of cleaning, some YouTube Pilates, pick up the kids early and head to the pool!

I'll miss the Fridays, but the rest of the week will make up for it. I think. Check back with me next Friday.

Can I Call You Back in 5 Years?

This isn't my normal type of blog, but felt compelled to write while listening to a podcast on NPR about how hard it is to make friends after the age of 30. This is the age that kind of designates a change in lifestyle that isn’t conducive to making good friends – you don’t have the automatic friend connection like in college, you get busy with work, or you are married and have children and those become the priorities. A lot of the stuff in this article really hit close to home with me.

I have a very hard time making friends! Granted, this hasn’t happened in the eight and a half months since I’ve turned 30; I’ve never been very good at making friends. I meet people I like, and would be interested in being friends with, but don’t have the nerve to initiate taking it past acquaintanceship. Luckily I’ve had a few occasions when those people have taken the initiative – maybe that’s why such a high proportion of my friends are so outgoing!

One point this article made is that at this age, the couple date plays a part in this. I think this is a problem for me and Peter. We have neighbors who we got to know when we first moved into our neighborhood and hung out with a few times. Peter and the husband clicked, but I never did with the wife, so we didn’t hang out with them too much. When this couple separated, Peter and the husband hung out quite frequently; they went bowling or had poker nights every other week, etc. Then the couple got back together and the “bromance” has faded. Peter has gone over to their house a couple of times if they are having other friends over, but no one-on-ones. Of course, we still asked them to water our plants when we went on vacation, and we are planning on having them over for dinner to thank them.

I can also use this couple as an example of how children can make it harder to form new friendships. They do not have any children – yet. They are currently pregnant with their first child, due in August. Before they separated they would invite us over when they had parties, or even just a couple times for dinner and game night. We only had Nate at the time, so I did drag him over there once or twice just to eat dinner before heading back home, but when their (adults only) parties start at 8 o’clock (bedtime) I can’t warrant taking him over there. Usually Peter goes alone. Maybe once they have their baby they will start organizing stuff that works with a child’s schedule, but I guess that would only matter if I liked the wife!

Of course, people also say that having kids can make finding friends easier. I have not found this to be the case. I have a list of excuses! I don’t have the interaction with other parents on the way in and out of daycare. There also aren’t a lot of children’s activities going on during the weekend in my area, most of them happen during the week, so I can’t meet other moms at “Mommy and Me” time. The one time I have gone to the park and actually had a conversation with a parent with a child (actually children) close in age to mine that I thought I would get along with… Well, that relationship lasted as long as that visit to the park. I’m thinking of talking to my church about trying to set up a group for parents of young children, but that hasn’t happened yet.

So, what does that leave me with? Work! That would be great, I’m with these people all day, we can talk about our kids, gripe about our husbands, talk about other random stuff… Of course, when the majority of the people you work with are your mother’s age this doesn’t lead to a lot of great friendships. There are a couple of ladies that have young kids, but it’s not just about the kids – it’s really about the moms. I have hung out with one of them outside of work once. In March! We also have plans for a Girls’ Night this Friday. Wow, once every 4 months! Three times a year! Amazing!

So, yeah, it’s hard making friends when you’re working and married with children at 30. Life gets in the way and those friends, or people who could be friends, get pushed to the side whenever something else comes up. It may not be such a big deal if you don’t talk to the friend you’ve had since your Freshman year in high school for a few weeks, but when that happens with someone you are just trying to become friends with, it becomes a non-starter friendship. In the past few years, ironically more since having children, I have realized how much I really need friends. It’s not that I want to get away from my family all of the time, I love them! I love singing “If You’re Happy and You Know It” with Nate, watching him and Mia make each other laugh over nothing, and watching Peter give Nate his special “upside-down hug”. Sometimes I just need a little me time, some girl time, some non-working-hour adult time. But, when your closest friend is 10 hours away, with a family of her own, it can make this time more than a little hard to come by. So, I am going to work hard at making friendships a priority, and not get so worked up about the possibility of being rejected by that mom in the park. Who knows, maybe she’s in the same boat as I am.

Memorial Day

Over Memorial Day weekend my friend Jacque came with her new (or new to me anyway) baby Collin. He is 8 months old, just about 3 months older than Mia, and since Jacque and I have been friends since our Freshman year in high school we were definitely interested in how the future couple would get along at their first meeting. Of course our get togethers these days, first with Nate and now with three kids, are very different than the days of grape stomping, horse races and weekend trips to New York!

Grape stomping in Temecula, CA

Winning at the races in Del Mar, CA

Seeing the sights in New York, NY

We started out with making sure we had a car that would fit three car seats (thanks Jack and Dianne!) and a shipment of a huge box of diapers to make sure Collin was covered for the weekend. After picking them up at the airport we had a quiet night at home with take-out Thai food and a movie from Redbox.

On Saturday we had a quiet morning with blueberry muffins before Peter headed to work. Then we decided to head to a local museum that has a new Cowboy exhibit that Nate would enjoy. Unfortunately it was actually kind of disappointing. The last couple of exhibits they've had (Pirates and Caves) have had at least some live animals in the exhbit, which because Nate can't read (yet!) aren't otherwise super interesting. This one didn't have any live animals, but did have a fake pony they could "ride" and dress up cowboy hats and boots. Then we went home for naptime!

Get me out of here!!!

I'm not so sure about this...

Well, everyone else got to take a nap, but since Peter's car decided to breakdown on his way to work I had to talk to him and the shop to try to get all of that worked out. By the time I was done, it was about time for the kids to wake up and me to go pick Peter up from work! Again, we had a quiet night based around the moods of the kids.

Mia, Nate and Collin playing nicely

Sunday we headed to church for our Pentecost Sunday mass that is held outside every year with a picnic and games/bounce houses for the kids. Then we headed back to the house for... you guessed it, naptime! This time I actually got to sleep for a few minutes. After an early (for me) dinner of leftover Thai, we headed out for frozen yogurt before Nate had to go to bed. We spent the rest of the night "watching" Harry Potter and talking.

Me and my babies

Monday morning we wasted away the morning trying to decide what to do. By the time we got around to do anything, we didn't have time to do much of anything before Jacque and Collin had to get back to the airport. After a quick lunch we headed back to the airport to say goodbye.

Jacque and Collin

It is kind of sad to think that last year I got to see her three times over the summer (every patriotic holiday - Memorial Day, 4th of July and Labor Day!), but this year we will probably only get this visit. Maybe next year we'll both feel a little more comfortable driving the 10 hours between Florida and NC. But the kids all seemed to get a long pretty well! Even Nate was very sweet to the babies and was very good about sharing his toys with Collin. The lovebirds were kind of indifferent to each other though... Oh well, we all know girls have cooties! They'll get over it.

Checking each other out

After dropping them off at the airport we headed over to Jack and Dianne's for a Memorial Day barbecue with Peter's family and some of their neighbors. We had the famous Morris Family BBQ sandwiches, a bunch of salads and some yummy rhubarb pie. Nate got to run through the sprinklers and play ball with his uncle and cousin - a great way to end the first unofficial weekend of summer.

Yep, it's summer!