Free Fridays

My first summer working for the school district, they did a test run of a special summer schedule in order to save on energy costs - four 10 hour days (Monday-Thursday 7-6). I guess it must have saved some money, because two years later we're still doing that schedule.

Fridays off, you say? That sounds awesome right? Well, it's not.

Maybe for those people that don't have kids it's nice. Maybe for the people who can go straight from home to work and back. Maybe when your day doesn't start at 5:30 and end at 7:30 instead of 7 and 6. Maybe if it doesn't mean your normally strict schedule gets totally screwed up and your kids have meltdowns in the morning and fall asleep on the way home and sleep crazy late on the days they don't have to get up early. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's not awesome even if those things aren't true. No one I work with LOVES this schedule.

There is exactly one good thing about this schedule, and that good thing is:

FRIDAYS OFF!

The last two years I've been jealous of the girls at work who had kids in daycare because it meant that on Friday, they were able to drop their kids off like it was a normal weekday and have the day to do whatever they liked. Normally it meant catching up on stuff that had been slacked off on during the week so they had the weekends free to spend time with their families. I had big plans for the same. Each Friday off has brought something fun and exciting.

Friday #1 I dropped the kids off at school, came home and had a nice relaxing breakfast. Then I spent some time cleaning the most under-cleaned rooms in the house - the kids rooms! After that I took a little walk to the pool and read for awhile, had a nice chat with an old high school friend, and did some very rare solo shopping! I picked the kids up early and we spent the rest of the afternoon with some fun in the sun.

Friday #2 A fun filled trip to the zoo with Nana and Grandpa!

Grandpa and Nate

Nana, Daddy and Mia

Friday #3 We dropped the kids off at daycare and I cleaned the bathrooms! I mean a good, deep clean. Then we picked the kids up after nap-time and headed over to Peter's parent's house to spend time with his family. We took their boat to a restaurant called T-Bones that lets you dock and eat. Good times.

Friday #4 I cleaned our bedroom, then had a fun friend-date with my work buddy Shannon. We went to lunch, then to see the movie The Heat. It was kind of funny because the two leads were named Sarah and Shannon!

Friday #5 I dropped the kids at school, then had a pretty relaxing day cleaning the floors. Then I finally got to enjoy my Christmas present - a trip to a local vegetarian restaurant. Peter went off to work and I headed back home, folded some laundry and took a short nap before picking up the kids. On the way home from picking them up we got into a little fender bender, but it was very minor and no one was hurt, so I'll count us all lucky. Though, even the smallest of accidents can be a major pain in the butt!

This is pretty much the extent of the damage. That, and the alignment seems a little off. Could be much worse though!

Friday #6 was spent driving fourteen and a half hours to New Jersey. But it was worth it for some great Fisher fun!

We didn't let him play with his iPod the whole time, but it definitely came in handy on occasion.

 Today, Friday #7, is the last free Friday until next year. I started it by dropping off the kids at daycare, then heading to Target to take advantage of the last NC Tax Free weekend. Now I think I'll do a little bit of cleaning, some YouTube Pilates, pick up the kids early and head to the pool!

I'll miss the Fridays, but the rest of the week will make up for it. I think. Check back with me next Friday.

Movie Night

The Friday of Memorial Day weekend I really needed a break after a hectic week at work. That morning I realized that Epic was bring released that very day. When I first saw the preview for that movie I thought that it would be something Nate would like. So I decided to treat us both to a trip to the movies. He has been to the movies before, but I think the last time he went was the summer before Mia was born to a dollar movie special. He didn't really remember it, so this can almost be considered his first real trip to the movies.

As soon as I asked him if he wanted to go to the movies he was excited. The entire there he was asking questions about the movie going experience. What movie are we seeing? Will there be snacks? Where do we see a movie? What movie are we seeing? What are the glasses for? Why do I have to be quiet? Is this a castle?

He got a little scared at one part that involved a giant mouse, but otherwise he really liked it. It was a really good movie to see in 3d because it was all about nature. His favorite part involved a little flower girl. Actually, no, I think his favorite part was the popcorn. It was very good popcorn according to him. Well, good. It better be!

Yay movies!

I am a huge movie person so seeing him get so much enjoyment from this experience and getting the "thank you, thank you, thank you!" from him just made my year. It's a small thing, but it really is one of my favorite experiences as a parent.

So, this past weekend when he asked for some special mom and Nate time (because Mia got a solo day earlier in the week when Nate spent the night with his grandparents) I decided to give movie night another try. This time we watched Rise of the Guardians, and though he was a little less excited, not very much so. He loved being able to stay up late and cuddle with mom on the couch. He got popcorn this time too, but I guess it wasn't as good as the movie theater popcorn. Oh well.

Mom/Son Movie night! (I think the flash on my camera might be a little too bright...)

So, I think this is a tradition we will keep up. Some nights it will just be me and Nate, some nights Peter will be able to join us, and eventually Mia can join the fun too.

Mother's Day

One of the bad things about having kids in daycare/pre-school is the amount of CRAP that they come home with on a daily basis. I'm sorry, but not really sorry, that I'm not one of those moms who keeps and thinks that every piece of "art" their children bring home is precious. It's really not.

But, one of the good things about having kids in daycare is that sometimes, some of the stuff they bring home is actually cute and precious. Usually it's the stuff that is more personal and includes hand prints or something.

So this year it was really nice to get some Mother's Day gifts that they worked on all week long. I got some flowers, a thumbprint necklace and lots of hand print flowers. But these two items are my favorite:

They spelled her name wrong, but it's still cute.

But my favorite was this one from Nate! Excuse the watermelon juice stains...

In case you couldn't read it...

My mom's name is: Sarah. (Smart kid.)
My mom is 21 years old. (I wish! No, not really)
She is 10 feet tall and weighs 5 lbs. (Those are worse proportions than Barbie!)
Her hair is red and her eyes are red and blue. (Red is his favorite color these days.)
My mom's favorite thing to do is play with me. (I'm glad he thinks so.)
My mom works at across the street. (True.)
At work she works on a computer. (Also true.)
My mom has the most beautiful hair. (Aww.)
My mom is the best mom because she likes to play with me. (Yes.)
My love for my mom is bigger than Logan's whole family. (I'm really not sure what this is supposed to mean, their family is only four people.)
If I could buy her anything for Mother's Day, I would buy her a Bob the Builder Set. (I guess so I can play with him in his Bob the Builder set.)

Four year olds are awesome!

Unexpected Snow Fun

So, yesterday when I looked at the weather to see what kind of weekend to expect I saw that there was a 10-50% chance of a rain/snow mix until about 5pm today. Well, the last two times, and only times this winter really, that we have expected snow or ice things have gotten blown completely out of proportion. Seriously, three weeks ago was ice-mageddon! Except it wasn't. We got nothing and everyone wasted an emergency trip to the grocery store. So, when I saw that chance of a rain/snow mix for today I figured it would be more on the rainy side and didn't think anything of it. 

At around 3:30 I looked outside and saw it precipitating - maybe a mix, but most definitely on the rainy side. Then about 5 minutes later I looked outside and everything had a pretty good layer of snow on it and it was coming down pretty fast. I ran upstairs to Nate's room (he was having "quiet time" since he no longer really naps) and opened his blinds so he could see. We just sat there and watched it for a few minutes until there was enough on the ground for us to be able to go out and play. Mia woke up just as Nate was getting dressed (yeah, he was still in his pajamas at 4pm - don't judge me!) so we all got bundled up and headed out.

It's coming down pretty good

I'm not sure about this...

What to do first?

This is snow fun!

We went to the front yard and had a mini snow ball fight and even started
to build a tiny little snowman. Then Nate knocked him over.

"Thank you snow!" - Nate

 Mia really didn't seem to mind the snow and was doing a  pretty
good job of exploring. And then, she was done!

I got Nate to come inside with the promise of hot chocolate! YUM!

And then we just sat around and watched the snow come down.

I'm glad we don't get it that often, but it is definitely pretty when we do.

We made it! Well, mostly.

My plan from the day I decided to not work for two weeks around Christmas was that when I came back to work after my vacation, I would no longer pump. We would have passed Mia's one year mark, and I really feel like I have given up enough of my own free time! So, walking back into work today I no longer felt like the bag lady I've felt like for the past year. I didn't have to bring my pump, and since I am not giving up my lunch hour I didn't have to bring a bag full of lunch and snacks to get me through the day. Of course, it felt a lot like this the week before I went on vacation as well.

When I had strep throat two weeks before Christmas, I still attempted to pump, that was the only reason I woke up the first day, but my body must have had different ideas. The first day I was only able to pump about 4 oz and the next day I only got two. She usually drinks two bottles of 4-6 oz each during the day while I'm at work, so that was not going to get her through. Since we had blown through what little stash I had been able to amass and we were only two weeks away from her birthday I decided to cut myself some slack and go ahead and introduce her to milk during the day for that last week of work.

It was amazing! It actually came in pretty handy given that it was the week before Christmas and I had been out of commission for most of the previous week. I was able to run errands, come home, clean, wrap... do whatever I wanted! I had my life back! I never realized how much I was missing until I got that free time back. What a difference an hour makes. I have big plans for that hour going forward. I didn't do much with it before Mia came... When I was pregnant I would sometimes take a nap. But now that two kids just makes everything a little harder to manage, it will be nice to actually have some "free" time to do those things.

My sister-in-law suggested that I make a kind of guide to pumping at work post in case it would be helpful to other people. I do not claim to be an expert at all, but I will just make some lists here that others can take what they want from.

Things that helped me:
1. My body - I think I'm just lucky to have a body that is pretty happy to produce milk. As much as I don't like most aspects of my body, that is one thing it does right! (That and the no morning sickness thing!)
2. Supportive boss - My boss breastfed each of her kids 18 months plus, so she was very supportive of my plight.
3. Flexible work schedule - I was able to work my pumping schedule around the needs of my body and Mia's hunger and not my work schedule (most of the time). I was also able to take some extra time on days when I really just needed to do something with my lunch other than pump, or if I wanted to be included in our monthly birthday lunches.
4. A good pump - I started with the pump I had used with Nate. I think in the 2 years between pumping for Nate and pumping for Mia one of the sides stopped working, and it never worked that great to begin with. Well, did you know you can use FSA money to pay for breast pumps and supplies? Well, you can! And I did! I got a great pump that did both sides at once with great power. The difference on the very first day was amazing!
5. Fenugreek - Come month 9 my supply started to drop dramatically (only when pumping - supposedly this is pretty normal), and this corresponded with trying to store up for a 3 day conference. So I started taking fenugreek and added one late-night pumping session for two weeks to build up my stash. I could tell the difference almost instantly.
6. Conviction - I think this was really the most important thing. I constantly had people saying how impressed they were that I kept going as long as they did. And I do feel pretty good about myself, but if I didn't REALLY want to do it, I could have stopped at many points throughout the year. Even people who were generally supportive sometimes did things that weren't always in the best interest of continued pumping, but I had to work hard to push through.

Things I didn't like:
1. Time suck - I really missed my free time! And always felt bad that I had to make other people go on the Starbucks runs.
2. Nipple soreness - Yeah, just... yeah. Sometimes were worse than others, but it's really not the most pleasant experience.
3. Publicizing a private thing - There was no way around it, everyone in my office knew exactly what I was doing when I was in that conference room. Luckily most of them are women and got used to it, but on the few occasions I had to ask other people if I could use their offices it could get a little awkward.
4. No set space for pumping - I was able to use the same room about 85% of the time, but it was a conference room that was sometimes in use when I wanted to pump, so I had to go in search of an empty office or hope someone was out to lunch. During conferences and workshops I had to spend my lunch hour in Nurses or Guidance Counselor offices and hotel rooms. Luckily no one ever minded me using their space for that purpose! (See #3.)
5. Mommy guilt - The times during the year that I wasn't able to keep up (a couple days during the first couple months) or when I was afraid I wouldn't be able to, I really started to make myself feel bad about it. And even cried. Whatever benefits it gives Mia and me, it is not worth the guilt! Luckily, I got over that just in time!

Things I will miss:
1. Reading - That was what I did while I pumped, so I read a lot of books last year! I'm going to have to find a way to keep that up this year.
2. My cow magnet - My boss had a cow magnet on the door to the conference room that I used to hang up my "Do Not Disturb" sign. I didn't think about it at first, but really loved that kind of in-the-know haha.

So, I'm done with pumping. It was very hard at times, but I am so glad that I kept it up for as long as I did, and so lucky that I was able to. As of right now I don't have any plans to wean Mia beyond the mid-day feedings. I will still nurse for her morning and night time feedings, but I will take her lead and if she starts to show less interest, or I get to my breaking point, then we can call it quits. At this point I have reached my goal. We made it!

Can I Call You Back in 5 Years?

This isn't my normal type of blog, but felt compelled to write while listening to a podcast on NPR about how hard it is to make friends after the age of 30. This is the age that kind of designates a change in lifestyle that isn’t conducive to making good friends – you don’t have the automatic friend connection like in college, you get busy with work, or you are married and have children and those become the priorities. A lot of the stuff in this article really hit close to home with me.

I have a very hard time making friends! Granted, this hasn’t happened in the eight and a half months since I’ve turned 30; I’ve never been very good at making friends. I meet people I like, and would be interested in being friends with, but don’t have the nerve to initiate taking it past acquaintanceship. Luckily I’ve had a few occasions when those people have taken the initiative – maybe that’s why such a high proportion of my friends are so outgoing!

One point this article made is that at this age, the couple date plays a part in this. I think this is a problem for me and Peter. We have neighbors who we got to know when we first moved into our neighborhood and hung out with a few times. Peter and the husband clicked, but I never did with the wife, so we didn’t hang out with them too much. When this couple separated, Peter and the husband hung out quite frequently; they went bowling or had poker nights every other week, etc. Then the couple got back together and the “bromance” has faded. Peter has gone over to their house a couple of times if they are having other friends over, but no one-on-ones. Of course, we still asked them to water our plants when we went on vacation, and we are planning on having them over for dinner to thank them.

I can also use this couple as an example of how children can make it harder to form new friendships. They do not have any children – yet. They are currently pregnant with their first child, due in August. Before they separated they would invite us over when they had parties, or even just a couple times for dinner and game night. We only had Nate at the time, so I did drag him over there once or twice just to eat dinner before heading back home, but when their (adults only) parties start at 8 o’clock (bedtime) I can’t warrant taking him over there. Usually Peter goes alone. Maybe once they have their baby they will start organizing stuff that works with a child’s schedule, but I guess that would only matter if I liked the wife!

Of course, people also say that having kids can make finding friends easier. I have not found this to be the case. I have a list of excuses! I don’t have the interaction with other parents on the way in and out of daycare. There also aren’t a lot of children’s activities going on during the weekend in my area, most of them happen during the week, so I can’t meet other moms at “Mommy and Me” time. The one time I have gone to the park and actually had a conversation with a parent with a child (actually children) close in age to mine that I thought I would get along with… Well, that relationship lasted as long as that visit to the park. I’m thinking of talking to my church about trying to set up a group for parents of young children, but that hasn’t happened yet.

So, what does that leave me with? Work! That would be great, I’m with these people all day, we can talk about our kids, gripe about our husbands, talk about other random stuff… Of course, when the majority of the people you work with are your mother’s age this doesn’t lead to a lot of great friendships. There are a couple of ladies that have young kids, but it’s not just about the kids – it’s really about the moms. I have hung out with one of them outside of work once. In March! We also have plans for a Girls’ Night this Friday. Wow, once every 4 months! Three times a year! Amazing!

So, yeah, it’s hard making friends when you’re working and married with children at 30. Life gets in the way and those friends, or people who could be friends, get pushed to the side whenever something else comes up. It may not be such a big deal if you don’t talk to the friend you’ve had since your Freshman year in high school for a few weeks, but when that happens with someone you are just trying to become friends with, it becomes a non-starter friendship. In the past few years, ironically more since having children, I have realized how much I really need friends. It’s not that I want to get away from my family all of the time, I love them! I love singing “If You’re Happy and You Know It” with Nate, watching him and Mia make each other laugh over nothing, and watching Peter give Nate his special “upside-down hug”. Sometimes I just need a little me time, some girl time, some non-working-hour adult time. But, when your closest friend is 10 hours away, with a family of her own, it can make this time more than a little hard to come by. So, I am going to work hard at making friendships a priority, and not get so worked up about the possibility of being rejected by that mom in the park. Who knows, maybe she’s in the same boat as I am.