Little travelers

Our recent trip to Chicago made me realize how lucky my kids are! They have each traveled more in their first year (or three) of life than I had done in my first 18. Unlike Peter, who got to travel a lot as a kid, I pretty much stayed in California for family vacations. The only time I traveled outside of California was to go to Texas to visit my dad's family. So, I flew to Texas when I was about one, then drove there when I was about eight and again at 16.  So we drove through California, Arizona, New Mexico and A LOT of Texas. Twice. Good times! Since then (really, since meeting Peter) I have been able to check a lot more states off of my list. And luckily my kids have too! 

Part of it is that my family, and most of Peter's family live in other states, and have friends in other state. We also live in a state that is within close driving distance of others where we might want to go. This is very different  from California, where it's a full day from top to bottom or you can travel 5 hours to get to... the desert! Again... good times! We have had weddings, visited friends and family and just gone to baseball games, all in different states. Nate even got to go on a week long vacation to the north (or is it the Mid-West? That's always confused me) - to three states I had never been to (including two I still haven't visited), with his Nana and Grandpa. 

I don't know how other families are, but maybe some of it is just how things have changed in the last 30 years. The world is a smaller place, so why can't the country be? Some of my European friends travel between countries on long weekends. Some of my Southern friends have never been outside of NC, let alone the south! I do not want my kids to think Gastonia, NC is the world. Really.

So, we will all continue to increase our state count - and hopefully, eventually, our country count! Here is where we all stand right now:

Peter's state count: Obviously he has us all beat!
Best: Colorado
Worst: Kansas?

My count - Fairly respectable I think.
Best: California (duh),
Worst: Alabama?

Nate's count - Pretty good for a 3 year old!

Mia's count - She'll get there, but still pretty good for 7 months old!
Hopefully we can increase it with a holiday drive to NJ this fall/winter!

Chicago!

This past weekend we went to Chicago for the wedding of our nephew, John, the son of Peter's oldest sister, Beth. We booked our tickets and hotel back in May and were all set to go on this short Morris Family Vacation. Well, in July, right before we went to the beach, we found out that Peter was going to be heading to Virginia for his Store Manager Evaluation. He would be there from the Sunday to Friday - the day after we had originally planned on leaving. Unfortunately this was the only time in the next few months that this opportunity was going to be open for Peter, so he had to take it! We contemplated not going to the wedding, but really wanted to go, and didn't want to give up all that sunk cost. That means... I got to fly there with Nate and Mia (her first time on a plane!) by myself! Doesn't that sound fun?

First airplane ride! I tried to get Nate in the shot, but he didn't want to.

Checking out the amber waves of grain

 Well, it actually wasn't that bad. I think the stress of thinking about it was worse than anything else.  Mia did have a huge blowout from the newly introduced apples in her diet, but fortunately it happened before we left the house! I did everything I could to be prepared and everything went smoothly. Our shuttle dropped us right at our airline, so I was able to do curbside check-in. And I cannot sing the praises of the family security line more! I was able to wear Mia through in her Moby and get through in less than 5 minutes. If anything, I was probably a little too prepared because I got to the gate about an hour before boarding. I tried to plan on feeding her during take off, but she was a little too eager. Luckily I had a large stash of binkies on stand by! Our plane was full of business travelers, and one guy in front of me commented on how good they were, and how he didn't hear Mia cry at all, which surprised him a lot. She did cry out a couple times, but as soon as she got her binky back she was fine. She also really enjoyed flirting with the new military recruits sitting in the row behind us.

On Friday we headed to the beautiful Chicago Botanic Gardens. We went on a tram ride around the gardens while we were waiting for everyone else to show up, then went to the butterfly exhibit. That was amazing! It was a normal sized green house filled with hundreds of different species of butterflies. It is pretty amazing to be able to see them so closely for such long periods. They didn't seem to like me enough to land on me, which surprised me given how much mosquitoes seem to like me! After the butterfly exhibit we headed to see the model trains, which Nate just loved! Then we went back to the hotel for a nap before going to Beth's house for the rehearsal dinner.

This isn't California!

Pooped

Peter got into Chicago (after passing his evaluation! Yay!!!) late Friday night, so when we woke up on Saturday, he was there! He jumped right into the fun with a trip to the Shedd Aquarium. I think the best part of going to the aquarium was getting to drive through downtown Chicago, and then along Lake Michigan on the way home. Chicago is really a beautiful city! The downtown seemed so vibrant - nothing like Charlotte's "Uptown" that all but closes in the evenings and weekends, and the suburbs were beautifully green. I'm sure I'd have a very different opinion of it during the winter, but during the summer it is very charming.

After the aquarium we had a short time to get ready back at the hotel to get ready for the wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony even though it had to be moved inside because of rain. Good luck for them! They had a bag full of fun stuff for each of the kids - puzzles, crayons and a car for Nate, rattles and books for Mia.. This was great for the time between the ceremony, dinner and dancing when Nate got a little antsy. But once the dancing started there was no stopping him! He was one of the first out on the dance floor, and didn't want to get off. He danced with all of his cousins, then even got a group of the bride and grooms' female friends wrapped around his little finger with his debonair dancing and charm. Mia did not have as much fun, and was a little overstimulated once the music got started. I kept having to take her outside, and a lot of people offered (wanted) to hold her so I could dance, but she's in her Mama phase, so it wasn't even worth it. Unfortunately we don't have any pics from the wedding, unless we get some from the photographer they had.

Mia and Nate with Aunt Cathy and cousins Aaric and Lainey

After going back to the hotel and crashing, we basically had enough time to pack and eat breakfast before heading back to the airport. It was a whirlwind vacation, but definitely a lot of fun. Nate loves getting to see all of his cousins! Can't wait for the next family vacation!

Yes, this is what a family vacation looks like!

Can I Call You Back in 5 Years?

This isn't my normal type of blog, but felt compelled to write while listening to a podcast on NPR about how hard it is to make friends after the age of 30. This is the age that kind of designates a change in lifestyle that isn’t conducive to making good friends – you don’t have the automatic friend connection like in college, you get busy with work, or you are married and have children and those become the priorities. A lot of the stuff in this article really hit close to home with me.

I have a very hard time making friends! Granted, this hasn’t happened in the eight and a half months since I’ve turned 30; I’ve never been very good at making friends. I meet people I like, and would be interested in being friends with, but don’t have the nerve to initiate taking it past acquaintanceship. Luckily I’ve had a few occasions when those people have taken the initiative – maybe that’s why such a high proportion of my friends are so outgoing!

One point this article made is that at this age, the couple date plays a part in this. I think this is a problem for me and Peter. We have neighbors who we got to know when we first moved into our neighborhood and hung out with a few times. Peter and the husband clicked, but I never did with the wife, so we didn’t hang out with them too much. When this couple separated, Peter and the husband hung out quite frequently; they went bowling or had poker nights every other week, etc. Then the couple got back together and the “bromance” has faded. Peter has gone over to their house a couple of times if they are having other friends over, but no one-on-ones. Of course, we still asked them to water our plants when we went on vacation, and we are planning on having them over for dinner to thank them.

I can also use this couple as an example of how children can make it harder to form new friendships. They do not have any children – yet. They are currently pregnant with their first child, due in August. Before they separated they would invite us over when they had parties, or even just a couple times for dinner and game night. We only had Nate at the time, so I did drag him over there once or twice just to eat dinner before heading back home, but when their (adults only) parties start at 8 o’clock (bedtime) I can’t warrant taking him over there. Usually Peter goes alone. Maybe once they have their baby they will start organizing stuff that works with a child’s schedule, but I guess that would only matter if I liked the wife!

Of course, people also say that having kids can make finding friends easier. I have not found this to be the case. I have a list of excuses! I don’t have the interaction with other parents on the way in and out of daycare. There also aren’t a lot of children’s activities going on during the weekend in my area, most of them happen during the week, so I can’t meet other moms at “Mommy and Me” time. The one time I have gone to the park and actually had a conversation with a parent with a child (actually children) close in age to mine that I thought I would get along with… Well, that relationship lasted as long as that visit to the park. I’m thinking of talking to my church about trying to set up a group for parents of young children, but that hasn’t happened yet.

So, what does that leave me with? Work! That would be great, I’m with these people all day, we can talk about our kids, gripe about our husbands, talk about other random stuff… Of course, when the majority of the people you work with are your mother’s age this doesn’t lead to a lot of great friendships. There are a couple of ladies that have young kids, but it’s not just about the kids – it’s really about the moms. I have hung out with one of them outside of work once. In March! We also have plans for a Girls’ Night this Friday. Wow, once every 4 months! Three times a year! Amazing!

So, yeah, it’s hard making friends when you’re working and married with children at 30. Life gets in the way and those friends, or people who could be friends, get pushed to the side whenever something else comes up. It may not be such a big deal if you don’t talk to the friend you’ve had since your Freshman year in high school for a few weeks, but when that happens with someone you are just trying to become friends with, it becomes a non-starter friendship. In the past few years, ironically more since having children, I have realized how much I really need friends. It’s not that I want to get away from my family all of the time, I love them! I love singing “If You’re Happy and You Know It” with Nate, watching him and Mia make each other laugh over nothing, and watching Peter give Nate his special “upside-down hug”. Sometimes I just need a little me time, some girl time, some non-working-hour adult time. But, when your closest friend is 10 hours away, with a family of her own, it can make this time more than a little hard to come by. So, I am going to work hard at making friendships a priority, and not get so worked up about the possibility of being rejected by that mom in the park. Who knows, maybe she’s in the same boat as I am.