My plan from the day I decided to not work for two weeks around Christmas was that when I came back to work after my vacation, I would no longer pump. We would have passed Mia's one year mark, and I really feel like I have given up enough of my own free time! So, walking back into work today I no longer felt like the bag lady I've felt like for the past year. I didn't have to bring my pump, and since I am not giving up my lunch hour I didn't have to bring a bag full of lunch and snacks to get me through the day. Of course, it felt a lot like this the week before I went on vacation as well.
When I had strep throat two weeks before Christmas, I still attempted to pump, that was the only reason I woke up the first day, but my body must have had different ideas. The first day I was only able to pump about 4 oz and the next day I only got two. She usually drinks two bottles of 4-6 oz each during the day while I'm at work, so that was not going to get her through. Since we had blown through what little stash I had been able to amass and we were only two weeks away from her birthday I decided to cut myself some slack and go ahead and introduce her to milk during the day for that last week of work.
It was amazing! It actually came in pretty handy given that it was the week before Christmas and I had been out of commission for most of the previous week. I was able to run errands, come home, clean, wrap... do whatever I wanted! I had my life back! I never realized how much I was missing until I got that free time back. What a difference an hour makes. I have big plans for that hour going forward. I didn't do much with it before Mia came... When I was pregnant I would sometimes take a nap. But now that two kids just makes everything a little harder to manage, it will be nice to actually have some "free" time to do those things.
My sister-in-law suggested that I make a kind of guide to pumping at work post in case it would be helpful to other people. I do not claim to be an expert at all, but I will just make some lists here that others can take what they want from.
Things that helped me:
1. My body - I think I'm just lucky to have a body that is pretty happy to produce milk. As much as I don't like most aspects of my body, that is one thing it does right! (That and the no morning sickness thing!)
2. Supportive boss - My boss breastfed each of her kids 18 months plus, so she was very supportive of my plight.
3. Flexible work schedule - I was able to work my pumping schedule around the needs of my body and Mia's hunger and not my work schedule (most of the time). I was also able to take some extra time on days when I really just needed to do something with my lunch other than pump, or if I wanted to be included in our monthly birthday lunches.
4. A good pump - I started with the pump I had used with Nate. I think in the 2 years between pumping for Nate and pumping for Mia one of the sides stopped working, and it never worked that great to begin with. Well, did you know you can use FSA money to pay for breast pumps and supplies? Well, you can! And I did! I got a great pump that did both sides at once with great power. The difference on the very first day was amazing!
5. Fenugreek - Come month 9 my supply started to drop dramatically (only when pumping - supposedly this is pretty normal), and this corresponded with trying to store up for a 3 day conference. So I started taking fenugreek and added one late-night pumping session for two weeks to build up my stash. I could tell the difference almost instantly.
6. Conviction - I think this was really the most important thing. I constantly had people saying how impressed they were that I kept going as long as they did. And I do feel pretty good about myself, but if I didn't REALLY want to do it, I could have stopped at many points throughout the year. Even people who were generally supportive sometimes did things that weren't always in the best interest of continued pumping, but I had to work hard to push through.
Things I didn't like:
1. Time suck - I really missed my free time! And always felt bad that I had to make other people go on the Starbucks runs.
2. Nipple soreness - Yeah, just... yeah. Sometimes were worse than others, but it's really not the most pleasant experience.
3. Publicizing a private thing - There was no way around it, everyone in my office knew exactly what I was doing when I was in that conference room. Luckily most of them are women and got used to it, but on the few occasions I had to ask other people if I could use their offices it could get a little awkward.
4. No set space for pumping - I was able to use the same room about 85% of the time, but it was a conference room that was sometimes in use when I wanted to pump, so I had to go in search of an empty office or hope someone was out to lunch. During conferences and workshops I had to spend my lunch hour in Nurses or Guidance Counselor offices and hotel rooms. Luckily no one ever minded me using their space for that purpose! (See #3.)
5. Mommy guilt - The times during the year that I wasn't able to keep up (a couple days during the first couple months) or when I was afraid I wouldn't be able to, I really started to make myself feel bad about it. And even cried. Whatever benefits it gives Mia and me, it is not worth the guilt! Luckily, I got over that just in time!
Things I will miss:
1. Reading - That was what I did while I pumped, so I read a lot of books last year! I'm going to have to find a way to keep that up this year.
2. My cow magnet - My boss had a cow magnet on the door to the conference room that I used to hang up my "Do Not Disturb" sign. I didn't think about it at first, but really loved that kind of in-the-know haha.
So, I'm done with pumping. It was very hard at times, but I am so glad that I kept it up for as long as I did, and so lucky that I was able to. As of right now I don't have any plans to wean Mia beyond the mid-day feedings. I will still nurse for her morning and night time feedings, but I will take her lead and if she starts to show less interest, or I get to my breaking point, then we can call it quits. At this point I have reached my goal. We made it!
